When Art Heals

Photo by Daniel Giannone on Unsplash According to Wikipedia, The Kübler-Ross model , or the Five Stages of Grief™ , postulates a series of emotions experienced by terminally ill patients prior to death or people who have lost a loved one, wherein the five stages are: denial , anger , bargaining, depression , and acceptance . This model addresses grieving before and after death, but I believe the stages are relevant in any type of loss, including death, job loss, and relationships, both intimate and platonic. While the stages might be the same for each, the process of grieving is different according to the type of loss, and no two experiences will be the same. I’ve experienced a variety of losses in my life that have all caused some form of grief. I’ve navigated grief after the death of friends and family members, some expected and others not expected. We expect grandparents to die because they’re often older and it makes sense, but they still hurt. I remember playing music at one...

Photo by   Jachan DeVol   on   Unsplash GUEST WRITER SPOTLIGHT.  The psychiatric nurse handed me my patient garb, lead me through the laundry policies, and was showing me to the bathroom where I was going to shower. I got into the bathroom where I nervously finicked with the door for a few minutes to make sure it was locked. It made me nervous. The whole room was covered in blue tiles and looked very lived in.  I stripped down and got into the shower, reflecting on how the day started, and how I ended up here, inside the walls of a mental institution.  The day started off as most of my days use too, with the shrilling voices of my chaotic mind, telling me I wasn't worth loving, that the people I loved were going to abandon me, accompanied by the symphony of other confusing, negative, and irrational thoughts. I texted my sponsor telling her I was in a real crisis, and she called me. After a few minutes of me sobbing, she drove over as fast as she could so sh...

Photo by   Steve Leisher   on   Unsplash I have struggled for several days to write this blog.  I have written many drafts and deleted many pages because while it's my turn to speak, it also isn't.  What I will say is that I'm a brown body. I have been harassed by cops when I've been pulled over for a speeding ticket (once), or when a tail-light was out (that I was unaware of) - but even in those instances I never thought I would die. I have been told by various White people what I should and shouldn't wear, what I should and shouldn't say, and how I should and shouldn't behave, as a person of color.  I have been called "dirty" by the elementary school children that I shared a classroom with, been referred to as a "maid," asked to translate a language I don't even speak - based upon my looks - and have been referred to as "less than human" by a phrase I'll never forget: "I didn't know that your kind could affor...

                                                                                     Photo by Suhyeon Choi on   Unsplash Clothes shopping has always been difficult for me, especially when it's time to buy pants. I'm short and even the pants that are marked as "short length" are still too long and drag on the ground, becoming frayed and torn with every wear, eventually to become so damaged they're unwearable. When I find a pair I like, it's the only kind I buy as long as it's available. This doesn't allow for much variety or style change but we have to wear pants :) It's hard enough to find something you like in your size and then to also have it fit the way you want. Few people are shaped like the mannequins modeling the clothes ...

Photo by   Kristina Tripkovic   on   Unsplash TRIGGER WARNING: Bullying, mild racism, and brief mention of sexual assault.  ***** I remember not fitting "in" with the "cool kids" from a very young age. I can't remember as far back as preschool, but I'm pretty sure no one really cared what I looked like or how I acted, then. Young children are the best teachers in that way - for they aren't concerned with looks nor are they set out to become the "most popular kid of all." They are far more concerned if you have the wrong sandbox toy and who to share (or not share) their chocolate chip cookie with. But elementary school was a completely different story.  I was adopted from South America when I was a baby, into a well-to-do white family. This meant that I lived in a nice neighborhood, with plenty of other children, and grew up in a very white-dominated community. Which, for the most part, was fine. But started to pose an issue when I arrived on t...

Our Purpose:  Over the course of our lifetimes, whenever we have shared our life's story with someone, the response has generally been the same - "You could write a book!" "You could use your story to help people!" "Wow, you've been through a lot - you should write about it!" etc., which eventually prompted us to team up together to write what you're reading now. We both are finally at a place where we can talk about our trauma, our stories, and how we've overcome all of life's curveballs thus far. Though we've not forgotten the things that happened to us and our experiences have previously been shared in private settings, we think discussing them on a more public platform could have a greater impact. We don't have identical stories, and they won't be the same as yours. But our hope is that sharing them will encourage others to speak up because your voices and your stories matter too. There will be some topics that are...