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Showing posts from June, 2020

Grief

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Photo by Daniel Giannone on Unsplash According to Wikipedia, The Kübler-Ross model , or the Five Stages of Grief™ , postulates a series of emotions experienced by terminally ill patients prior to death or people who have lost a loved one, wherein the five stages are: denial , anger , bargaining, depression , and acceptance . This model addresses grieving before and after death, but I believe the stages are relevant in any type of loss, including death, job loss, and relationships, both intimate and platonic. While the stages might be the same for each, the process of grieving is different according to the type of loss, and no two experiences will be the same. I’ve experienced a variety of losses in my life that have all caused some form of grief. I’ve navigated grief after the death of friends and family members, some expected and others not expected. We expect grandparents to die because they’re often older and it makes sense, but they still hurt. I remember playing music at one...

Being Broken Inside A Broken System

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Photo by   Jachan DeVol   on   Unsplash GUEST WRITER SPOTLIGHT.  The psychiatric nurse handed me my patient garb, lead me through the laundry policies, and was showing me to the bathroom where I was going to shower. I got into the bathroom where I nervously finicked with the door for a few minutes to make sure it was locked. It made me nervous. The whole room was covered in blue tiles and looked very lived in.  I stripped down and got into the shower, reflecting on how the day started, and how I ended up here, inside the walls of a mental institution.  The day started off as most of my days use too, with the shrilling voices of my chaotic mind, telling me I wasn't worth loving, that the people I loved were going to abandon me, accompanied by the symphony of other confusing, negative, and irrational thoughts. I texted my sponsor telling her I was in a real crisis, and she called me. After a few minutes of me sobbing, she drove over as fast as she could so sh...

This is not Ideal.

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Photo by   Steve Leisher   on   Unsplash I have struggled for several days to write this blog.  I have written many drafts and deleted many pages because while it's my turn to speak, it also isn't.  What I will say is that I'm a brown body. I have been harassed by cops when I've been pulled over for a speeding ticket (once), or when a tail-light was out (that I was unaware of) - but even in those instances I never thought I would die. I have been told by various White people what I should and shouldn't wear, what I should and shouldn't say, and how I should and shouldn't behave, as a person of color.  I have been called "dirty" by the elementary school children that I shared a classroom with, been referred to as a "maid," asked to translate a language I don't even speak - based upon my looks - and have been referred to as "less than human" by a phrase I'll never forget: "I didn't know that your kind could affor...